Choosing honesty.
Posted on Jun 30th, 2008
by 
Enlightened.thinker
Enlightened.thinker
Being an "intellectual" can be overrated. I am not stating I am an intellectual, you understand. I had not even thought myself intelligent until I realized there are many forms of intelligence, not just brain smarts. When I took my masters courses, I was on conditional acceptance until I proved myself. I was able to right away, and that made me more confident. But I am from a family of average intelligence and ability.
Yesterday, Keith and I went to visit my nephew and his family. His wife is one who never minces words. Her honesty is her intelligence. They are renting for now in a rather upscale Seattle neighborhood so their son will attend a good school. While it is lovely, there comes too much expectation for me to live there even if I had the money. I carry a lot of baggage from a life in Kingwood, Texas. Your neighborhood there defined you. And mine was not one of the better ones. My kids did not drive BMW's and we did not shop at A/E or other upscale shops. It did not bother me, except for the labeling that came from others.
People think because your husband is a "Dr." and you are a "Professor" you are rolling in the dough. We also have been told that before since we own and RV, we must be rich. It would seem at times, societal intelligence is directly tied to how they perceive others bank accounts! The whole idea of monetary status makes me rather crazy...everyone looks the same sitting on the toilet. And I often think of them doing so just to even the playing field. My mother used to say, if someone thought themselves better than her, "they think they shit vanilla ice cream"....how true!
Anyway, we all went out in the afternoon to the thrift store because my niece loves to shop there and Keith wanted to check out the short sleeve shirts. I had not found a thrift store that did not remind me of a junk shoppe but went along anyway. And this one was awesome!
We walked out with 2 pieces of wooden furniture, six shirts, some kitchen bowls, and other things for $100. My niece is 1/2 latino, 1/2 Native American descent and she refers to "her people" (her words, not mine) with much pride. We stopped at the Mexican food store to get some grub and found the prices much more reasonable than the "white people" food store! I also felt a keen sense of community there, not a cold uncaring abyss chain stores typify.
It made me wonder if the prices at all the grocery chain stores are inflated along with the inflated sense of entitlement needed to shop there? Hmm....my heart seems to agree that what others are "seen as" affects even grocery store prices....and later when checking the ethnic food spices in my neighborhood Safeway store, I saw they cost less than the ones in the regular spice aisle! It is all about how things are "seen".
We returned home with our items and had a bar-b -que on their back porch, our dogs on the deck, nephew playing his guitar...and later listening to the radio to old 70's tunes and singing along...and reminiscing...
My niece says the neighborhood is quiet and no one spends time outside...and they probably are aghast at us returning with thrift store bags...and playing songs from the radio! I am comfortable being in the midst of family splendor and find the non-judgment soothing...no wonder I am happier sequestered in my own space, without people making assumptions and judging my non-use of makeup or choice of entertainment!
I wonder to myself...who is living authentically? Why should any of us be any other way than we are, even though we have titles, and are fond of reading great books, and learning more ideas/ We are no better and no worse than any other...just different and in the difference, we shine. It will always be true that people will see what they want to see and judge how they wish to judge. I used to hope I could persuade people otherwise...but in my advancing age, it matters not to me what people think anymore. What matters is that people come to their own conclusions. We must discern our own reality, and because we create the world we live in, we choose it moment by moment.
i choose peace, I choose happiness...and I choose love.
i also will choose to check out the thrift store more often now...and not worry over what others may think.
Yesterday, Keith and I went to visit my nephew and his family. His wife is one who never minces words. Her honesty is her intelligence. They are renting for now in a rather upscale Seattle neighborhood so their son will attend a good school. While it is lovely, there comes too much expectation for me to live there even if I had the money. I carry a lot of baggage from a life in Kingwood, Texas. Your neighborhood there defined you. And mine was not one of the better ones. My kids did not drive BMW's and we did not shop at A/E or other upscale shops. It did not bother me, except for the labeling that came from others.
People think because your husband is a "Dr." and you are a "Professor" you are rolling in the dough. We also have been told that before since we own and RV, we must be rich. It would seem at times, societal intelligence is directly tied to how they perceive others bank accounts! The whole idea of monetary status makes me rather crazy...everyone looks the same sitting on the toilet. And I often think of them doing so just to even the playing field. My mother used to say, if someone thought themselves better than her, "they think they shit vanilla ice cream"....how true!
Anyway, we all went out in the afternoon to the thrift store because my niece loves to shop there and Keith wanted to check out the short sleeve shirts. I had not found a thrift store that did not remind me of a junk shoppe but went along anyway. And this one was awesome!
We walked out with 2 pieces of wooden furniture, six shirts, some kitchen bowls, and other things for $100. My niece is 1/2 latino, 1/2 Native American descent and she refers to "her people" (her words, not mine) with much pride. We stopped at the Mexican food store to get some grub and found the prices much more reasonable than the "white people" food store! I also felt a keen sense of community there, not a cold uncaring abyss chain stores typify.
It made me wonder if the prices at all the grocery chain stores are inflated along with the inflated sense of entitlement needed to shop there? Hmm....my heart seems to agree that what others are "seen as" affects even grocery store prices....and later when checking the ethnic food spices in my neighborhood Safeway store, I saw they cost less than the ones in the regular spice aisle! It is all about how things are "seen".
We returned home with our items and had a bar-b -que on their back porch, our dogs on the deck, nephew playing his guitar...and later listening to the radio to old 70's tunes and singing along...and reminiscing...
My niece says the neighborhood is quiet and no one spends time outside...and they probably are aghast at us returning with thrift store bags...and playing songs from the radio! I am comfortable being in the midst of family splendor and find the non-judgment soothing...no wonder I am happier sequestered in my own space, without people making assumptions and judging my non-use of makeup or choice of entertainment!
I wonder to myself...who is living authentically? Why should any of us be any other way than we are, even though we have titles, and are fond of reading great books, and learning more ideas/ We are no better and no worse than any other...just different and in the difference, we shine. It will always be true that people will see what they want to see and judge how they wish to judge. I used to hope I could persuade people otherwise...but in my advancing age, it matters not to me what people think anymore. What matters is that people come to their own conclusions. We must discern our own reality, and because we create the world we live in, we choose it moment by moment.
i choose peace, I choose happiness...and I choose love.
i also will choose to check out the thrift store more often now...and not worry over what others may think.
Access: Public
choice
August 2008 
Way to go aley!! I agree with you wholeheartedly. We are so busy looking at the darn joneses, you know the grass always looks greener on the other side until you get there and i wouldn't want to live a anyone elses shoes…not even those of a millionaire. I love being down to earth and real, just being folks, hanging out, being authentic…wearing our feelings on our sleeves, being there for each other, accessible and available..and not worrying about the joneses unless it is for a good purpose…to contribute to their lives, to add to their light and their empowerment…these are the only things worth living for…..only intelligence, good deeds and being a vessel of light and honor…loving God and Gods creation…living in truth, trust and honesty, loving, and giving, and that is all there is!~
Go for it girl!! let it all hang out! Its called being REAL….hahah
now I don't feel so bad not seeing Vanna White sitting on a toilet around here…I wouldn't have recognized her anyway.
Aley, I loveeeee thrift stores and found a good one north of Atlanta. Sheeze, K-12 teachers get paid more than college professors. imho, military, police and firepeople make less than they should (though I wish there wasn't a need for any of these!)
This is off-topic but I just talked to my niece's boyfriend who enlisted and said the U.S. is building permanent bases in Iraq. Has anyone else heard of this?
The thrift stores in Coeur d'Alene are great and I am a major-yuppy-brand-name-shopper. I come home with Eddie Bauer, LL Bean, Lands End, Columbia, all from the thrift store…
Folks think airline pilots are rolling in dough, also. Wrongggg… So I am imaging a whole host of famous people sitting on the toilet: Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, Queen Elizabeth II, George Clooney, Keanu Reeves. Hmmmm. This is fun.
Goodwill rocks! And St. Vincent de Paul….those are the two we have around this neck of the woods. I always think of it as one of the best ways to recycle. You can get rid of all the stuff you no longer want…..and pick up the stuff other people no longer want. And since one person's garbage is another's treasure, how wonderful that they have stores where all this recycling can happen!
Thanks yaffie.Maybe we should wear a shirt that says: authentic. Whatcha think???
maze: you stay out of Vanna White's bathroom!
sprite: Keith says he heard permanent bases are being built in Iraq maybe that is why McCain says we'll be there 100 years? And also there are covert operations occuring in Iran now as well we do not hear about on the news…hmmmm….
Janine….how about Chuck Norris? LOL…i need to come back to go to the thrift stores in Couer d'Alene…lol
It seems the more upscale the area, the more expensive the items sell for at the thrift store!
Centria: You are right, wish we could barter items in trade, would be cool, but then they would not make money I guess…maybe I need to live in an intentional community!
love to all!
Aley
I love the thrift stores and think of it as a treasure hunt. Most of my clothese come from Value Village (Canadian only?) My winter jacket was marked $16, but I went on 50% off day day.. I don't wear make-up, just Clinique moisturizer which my daughter usually buys me for my birthday.
What I haven't bought into for about the last 30 years, is what is called LIFE STYLE.- propoganda to make us into voracious consumers. If we don't succumb, it becomes easier and easier to not give a hoot. No one cares that I don't wear lipstick.
You seem to have a good handle on it and can relax into it and have some fun with your new finds. ((hugs))
I'm with you, Aley.
Thrift stores can be great, depending on the surrounding community. I have seen upscale neighborhoods/towns where the homeless were dressed better than I was (and I was dressed up and visiting at the time).
…and I love those bargains!
love and wonder,
CG
yes, or GET REAL!… lol
Hey aley, we got some very nice ones here in boca, come, be my guest!!
I love thrift stores too, and I love to buy food at the little Hispanic grocery store in Ellijay, just north of here. When I'm out walking/running, my favorite places in town are the streets where the funky, somewhat cluttered little white wooden houses are, the ones with all sorts of interesting statuary in back and tons of windchimes hanging from the porch eaves. These are the houses where ethnicities other than my own live and I find them to have an energy and soul that I want to climb inside. The other evening it was about to storm and I was walking past such a house and heard the sound of someone playing classical violin coming out of the window. not a recording. it mixed with the sound of the cicadas in such a beautiful way.
Hey Mimi..! I remember your pic here of you in a thrift store find dress! Woohoo…! Yup, I am not big on too much dress up…so you and I would be good roomates! lol
CG: That is cool. I know many people have told me of their “finds”..when we were working at the storage place, each month their would be an auction of the units people were over 60 days delinquent on paying. One such auction, a man paid $1 for a 10X10 unit that looked to be junk. (we could not bid on stuff cuz we worked there) We found out he had autographed pics of Count Basie and other jazz greats and leather coats etc…incredible…
Yaffie: Boca thrift stores? Wow…now THAT would be something else!! lol
Laura: I see that wonderful image you have written about…and can almost hear the violin…how wonderful! and yes, it is only when we walk by these quaint places that we can see the charm and feel the energy emanating from them…
thanks everyone for sharing…you have made my morning!
love, Aley
OMG, I can't wait to jump into this one!
We live in a little town outside of Vancouver, which as you know if a major Canadian city, complete with social structures. There are three-four areas of the city, considered very, very affluent. Blessedly, we moved out of one of those areas about 14 years ago and life feels much more simple. Some of our friends still live in those areas and yes, there is a real “keeping up wiht the Joneses” mentality. As they say, “life is very complex there”. In our family we chuckle about our simple little hick life out here in Tsawwassen.
Our kids used to like designer wear and then we all realized, if we had abit of extra cash, we would rather travel :). I love shopping at Thrift Stores and consignment stores, and always have. I have found many treasures! I also love shopping at the local “specialty store” called by others “garbage day”. I recently found a gorgeous red velvet covered antique chair, just sitting out for the garbage. It is now sitting in my entry way.
Also, in our travels, we have gone to Yelapa, Mexico, which is a tiny fishing village south of PV and only accessible by water taxi. This community has had electrcity for 8 years only and there are very few TV's, a few computers for the whole town, no cars, people get around on donkeys or horses ( a few more 4x4's recently). This wonderful community has taught me what it means to really live. Family and people are what is important in Yelapa!
I love all of you, have a wonderful day!
Z
Yay Zoey!
I know how much I enjoy my travels, so that is why I have no interest in mortgage or home ownership, or fancy cars, or anything that could take away the income I would use in order to travel. I always used any extra money to make travel memories, taking my kids to the Southwest, to Florida, etc. I even homeschooled my son “on the road” and we logged about 5000 miles in two years going all over the country! I never miss TV, or the internet and enjoy singing along, talking and discussing things, hiking, and enjoying the sites. It is liberating..!
When I was 19 I went to Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island with my friend and her parents, and we were miserable! our mindset was pubs and parties. Now, I would love to go there and just camp on the shores of the ocean for several weeks. Funny, eh? (I put Eh in for you Canadians! ) lol
Your “finds” are also really cool…and thanks for sharing your journey to simplicity Z.
love, A
Aley,
Right on, eh!
I have an idea brewing…… :)
Ahhhh… I miss this. Taking the time to read friends blogs and the comments they inspire. Peeking into someone elses life and sharing viewpoints. So thankful.
All those great insights and the line about the toilet is what sticks. I've had a vision in my head for years and years that I haven't seen yet in reality (at least the reality outside my minds eye).
It's a painting of a clown sitting on a toilet (in that surreal Norman Rockwell) style. Just sitting their staring at the viewer. Life Making Clowns of Us All. The image has always cracked me up and kept me grounded.
Blessings, David
Yes, that line “…everyone looks the same sitting on the toilet” is unforgetable no matter if one's toilet is gold-plated or gemstone embelished (I remember seeing a feature story on these years back - incredible). Except of course in this part of the world we do still have the squat type toilets so people using them would not be sitting pretty - ha, ha, ha! I think one can be more imaginative on squatting positions - LOL!
I also do enjoy shopping in thrift stores as it's like a 'treasure' hunt, and also flea markets where you get such extraordinary stuff for gifts and travel mementos (do this everywhere I travel) at unbelievably cheap prices. Bargaining can be fun, too, for both the seller and the buyer! Here in Kathmandu, this is especially true when both approach it in a light-hearted and friendly mood.
“everyone looks the same on a toilet' You crack me up. I'll have to remember that one.